Bad attitude in relationships 

Attitude plays a crucial role in all relationships, whether in families, work, church, or marriages. Good attitudes are like gold, and bad attitudes are like weeds. The best way to deal with weeds is to attack them from the root.

Attack the problem from the root. A bad attitude leads to lasting negative consequences. From the Bible, we know the story of Vashti. The King was having a grand celebration and requested the presence of Queen Vashti, but she refused. So, the king was angry, and that led to her being removed, from her position. Her position was later given to Esther. See what a bad attitude can do? It can move you from a place of authority to the lowest pit. The queen lost her position and throne to someone less experienced and innocent. 

Know your attitude

Many are aware of their bad attitude but their reaction is “So what?” They know that their attitude is rotten and causing a stench but they don’t care less. These ones are the hardest to change. Why? Because in order to change one must accept that they have a problem, see the need to change, and be ready and willing to change. 

So many are losing the good things in their life because of the wrong attitude. Some people show no respect to their spouse, always having the “I couldn’t care less” attitude,” until they realized that their spouse is out the door and moving on with someone else. Only to realize that by the time they wake up and are ready to change their attitude and fight for their marriage that it’s too late. No one wants to endure a life of constant nagging, brawls, and quarrels.

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

Proverbs 21:9 KJV 

Have the right Attitude

Big dreams require big efforts and the right attitude. Most times the things you are looking for require a big leap of faith. We cannot stay grounded and fly high. God commanded his children to do a prophetic act to get to their next level. For the walls of Jericho to fall down, they had to march around it seven-time, for the red sea to open up Moses had to stretch out his rod and the people had to walk through it. What if they had feared and refuse to move? Don’t worry about failure, failure is a step on the road to success, step on it and move forward in faith. 

12 bad attitudes in marital relationship

Constant unwarranted suspicion  

Making up things, looking for clues that aren’t there, when “It’s all in the mind.” Unwarranted suspicion can drive a person crazy and destroy a good marriage. When one spouse is insecure and constantly looking for ways to relive their own insecurity based on their past experience. 

Looking down the road and remembering the evil that was done to them, trying to find a way to ensure history doesn’t repeat itself. Yet going about it the wrong way. 

Eavesdropping on every conversation that their spouse makes, checking their phone when they aren’t looking. Going undercover, trailing them when they say they are going out with a friend; being suspicious of their every move. This can cause a lot of stress and will eventually lead to a breakup in the relationship. Wasting precious time, that you could have spent working on yourself. Searching for things that are not there. Making false accusations, blaming them for things they know nothing about. Once you start laying false claims and charges, the relationship will never be the same. So never go down this road, once you do, it’s hard to turn back.

Doubtfulness

Persons who worry a lot are fearful and may doubt that anything good will happen for them. They throw water on a good fire and very soon the only thing left is wet ashes. They will kill your dreams and refuse to start dreaming their own dreams. As soon as you mention something, you want to do they shoot down the idea with impossibility.  Nonrisktakers, will refuse to give encouragement and lend a hand towards the fulfillment of your goals but are ready to say “I told you so” if you fail. Yet they are the ones who will come running to share the benefits of your hard work when your risk pays off. 

Doubt and worry are joy killers, they can destroy your life. Stay clear of them. 

There are those who will not be honest and say they do not agree with your plans, but are silently waiting for you to fail. Then they nod and say “I knew it, I could have told you it wouldn’t work.” These are attitudes that are rotten and should not be named amongst us. Support your spouse’s dream, even if it seems impractical.

Don’t be a dream and destiny killer. 

Big things will take place out in the deep end, far away from your comfort zone, not in the shallows. So, reach for the stars, step out from where you are, and move towards your dreams. Dream big and go for it. 

Carrying baggage from the past 

Some people carry the baggage from their past with them everywhere. They just refuse to let go and move on. The past is the past, let bygone be bygone. It’s a new day and new season, forget about all those who did you wrong. Let go of the past and think on good things.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Philippians 4:8 KJV

We cannot change the past, but we can make peace with it, learn from it and move on. The good thing is that your past doesn’t have to define you, take control, forget the past, live in the present and look towards the future with boldness and confidence. 

Unwillingness to accept responsibility for mistakes 

Some people with lousy attitudes are not willing to accept responsibility when they are wrong. Instead, they are quick to shift the blame to someone else. This is where lies, start accumulating and can fester and break out into compulsive behavior. “I’m sorry” is very hard or non-existing for “Blame Gamers.”

It’s ok to apologize and accept responsibility for your actions. Saying “I was wrong” doesn’t make you look weak, and it certainly doesn’t make you less of a person but makes you a person with a strong character. It shows you are human with the capability of making mistakes, with the courage to admit them. If you care enough, you want to ensure that the ones you have hurt, know that you regret your actions.

Aggressive, hostile attitude 

Some people are just waiting for the worst to happen, never expecting anything to go well. Facing the day with the “What will go wrong today” attitude will drain your strength. Waiting and anticipating, hoping that their spouse will do something that they dislike so that they can begin an argument. Such hot aggression is “like a bomb waiting to explode.” Walking around looking for war, seeking out the peaceful to destroy their comfort zone. Living with this kind is like being in a war zone, fighting against the enemy. Some people are in need of attention and desperately seek it in an aggressive manner, but this is not the way to attract attention.

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”

Ephesians 4:26 KJV

An aggressive spouse lacks peace and might be dealing with some deep-rooted conflict and confusion in the mind. The only person who can calm these troubled minds is Jesus and the Holy Ghost. Look to him for comfort always.

Selfishness

Self-centered and selfish attitudes will damage any relationship. Having no consideration for the needs of others. Where one partner is always talking about themselves as if they are the only one in the relationship. It’s always ‘Me, Myself and I “No thought for anyone else. They might just be in the relationship to see what they can get and how they can benefit from having the other partner around. Sucking, and sucking like a leech without giving anything back.  

It is never easy for a person to admit that they have a bad attitude. Sometimes they are aware but reluctant to do anything about it. Because it’s like exposing an old wound and facing the harsh reality, that it’s time to seek help. 

Each spouse should be able to see each other’s needs and know that it’s not all about them. Listen to the voice of your spouse, sometimes they might not say that your attitude is hurting them. Always be considerate, compassionate, loving, tenderhearted, and kind. Nothing can beat these words.

Constant complaining 

Some people have a negative attitude of always complaining about everything. These people are hard to please, always finding faults. People who are ungrateful will complain about everything. Never satisfied and always seeing the bad in everything. Remember the children of Israel how they murmured and complain when they were in the wilderness. As soon as they were faced with a little hardship, they wanted to turn around and go back to bondage. “Toxic Complainers” can only see the dark clouds even on a sunny day. Searching for problems that aren’t looking for them. It’s hard for them to taste the sweet, honey is bitter in their mouth. 

Be supportive and celebrate the success of others without jealousy and resentment. 

Unreasonable expectations 

It is good to have high expectations and goals but we should never waste our time setting them for others. When we set standards for others, it’s as if we are demanding that people live up to our expectations. This is self-imposing on others’ personal space. Most times people will feel cornered and retaliate against such restrictions. Unreasonable expectations can ultimately lead to disappointment and resentment.

Disrespect 

Respect is a two-way street. You give and you get. Many people are too self-centered and only demand respect without giving or earning it. Respect is a key ingredient in any healthy, happy relationship. It involves both parties treating each other fairly. Disrespect should be a marital crime. It can cause a breakdown in communication, which in turn will lead to a collapse of the marriage. There are many ways that we can disrespect our spouse without even realizing it:

  • Talking down to them
  • Suffocation
  • Unfair restriction
  • Nagging
  • Dishonesty
  • Jealousy

Unwillingness to accept the truth 

Some people rather hear a lie than accept an unwanted truth. They hold on to what they believe and refuse to accept anything else. Sometimes it’s a fear of accepting reality and having to make the big decisions of changing their attitude and lifestyle. They are always right and everyone else is wrong. It’s very difficult to explain the truth to them because it is often met with anger and resentment. They hold on to what they believe and will go to the grave with it. Do you know anyone like this? Pray for them.

Prayer against bad attitude 

Father, I come to you in Jesus’ name. Lord, please free my heart, soul, mind, body, and spirit from all bad attitudes. Father, please help me to fix my mind on you daily so everything that is not you will be far from me. Lord, transform my thoughts and let them be subjected to the obedience of Christ Jesus. Father let this mind be in me which was in Christ Jesus and let all bad attitudes leave my life today. Lord, please give me your peace and joy. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

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